My initial title for this blog post was going to be - "Two steps forward...one step back" - and yet that didn't seem fitting enough. As I thought more about it, the word "journey" seemed the most fitting because it encompasses the forward, backward, sideways, and up and down moments that have been my relationship with the Japanese language lately.
Last time I wrote about language was about two months ago. A lot has changed since then and...a lot has stayed the same. I continue to take lessons each week and am definitely learning more about the Japanese language. I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago and during our conversation I realized that even though the amount I am speaking Japanese in public hasn't changed all that much - my general understanding of the language is growing. And that's a positive thing! I was telling her about how the Japanese language doesn't really use pronouns - so if you don't catch who or what is being talked about at the very beginning - you may go through an entire conversation completely clueless. I was also telling her about different verb forms (I don't know what they all are yet - I just know there are a lot of them) and about particles (which are "connecting words" and may be the most confusing grammar piece at this point). After our conversation...it struck me that most of the time I don't give myself enough credit for what I am learning - if it doesn't instantly generalize into conversation or if I can't see the improvement (it's hard to have an outside perspective). And, I DO still hold on to the hope that one day - it all will click - and I will wake up fluently speaking Japanese. :)
My vocabulary is starting to grow - with understanding (of single words and short phrases) definitely being stronger than the vocabulary I am using. However, I am starting to create a base of words that I use more often - and those are starting to stick in my memory. I know Kaz is thrilled about this - because usually when he asks me what a word means - I have no idea - even if he just told me the meaning of the word one second prior. And, I am now beginning to create and formulate sentences. Up until about two weeks ago, most of my utterances were single words or rote phrases. I would speak in a very telegraphic way to get my point across...roku cue cue roku, michise-desu (the last 4 digits of our phone number and then last name) when I picked up the dry cleaning and cardo? fukuro hitotsu onegashimasu (credit card okay? one bag please) when at the grocery store. This type of speech actually gets you pretty far in Japan...from a survival standpoint...especially when it is paired with pointing, gesturing, nodding, and wishing (on both ends) that you spoke the same language. I am quickly realizing though...that it is easy to fall in the telegraphic rut...and just "get by." So I am constantly playing this mental game with myself of taking risks and trying to expand my comfort zone.
Sentence structure in Japanese is completely different. I wish I could tell you the differences exactly - but I am not entirely sure...yet! I just know that the words are often in a completely different order and that the verb almost always comes at the end...so you have to continue listening fully until the very end before you can make sense of what is being said. I wonder if there was some strategy in that?! I have begun to write sentences (using romanji - which is English letters - I haven't tackled actually writing in Japanese yet) each week about different things that I've done. As I work on this task - I have realized several things. 1) Most of the time I don't know the Japanese words for half of the words I want to use; 2) I just write the content words down and then guess at the particles; and, 3) The whole sentence structure piece has not clicked - and I usually have to look in my book or at previous sentences. There are definite moments of frustration - and wishing I "got" it more - and I try to follow these with moments of cutting myself some slack and trying to be a bit more realistic. It doesn't always happen though!
This "struggle" with sentence structure led me to a huge "AHA" moment during a therapy session the other day. I am working with a little boy with a language delay. His "first" language is English - but he was exposed to several languages starting from a young age. At first, he was speaking only one- and two-word utterances - mostly imitations of my models. Overtime, he has begun attempting to say more on his own. Usually, his sentences are a string of telegraphic words - strung together - in no particular order (or at least what I thought was no particular order initially). It dawned on me the other day - that he is doing the same thing that I am - saying words to get my point across - but not knowing how to string them together (because the grammar systems are different). I have to say though - he is picking the structure up MUCH faster than me...which might have to do with the fact that he is learning a language system and I am trying to unlearn a language system! It's neat to continue to see the ways in which my journey with language can parallel that of my clients.
Although my day-to-day language interactions continue to be rather brief and routine, I have "put myself out there" in new ways over the past month. And - I have come to the realization that verbal language is not always needed to connect with others! Sharing in experiences like running, music, art/crafts - and expressing emotions by smiling, laughing, or even crying - can transcend every language.
My sensei has been encouraging me to talk to the individuals who work at the front desk...other than just smiling and greeting them when I come and go. However, I've been hesitant because I really don't know what to say. I have a few phrases - and yet, if they say something outside of the script...I'm not sure what I'll do. The other day when I was reserving the parking spot (with my script and written notes) - one of the men (who my sensei had asked to talk to me) - came up and said "speak" in English. I was completely caught off guard and replied chotto (which means "a little"). He continued in English - saying "cherry blossoms." I nodded that I had seen them. I wanted to say beautiful - and couldn't remember the word. So...I said the word "kowaii" (which I thought meant cute) figuring that I would still be able to make my point. Both people looked at me with puzzled expressions - so I said "beautiful" in English...and they nodded, smiled, and laughed. Apparently cute is KA-waii and scary is KO-waii. Oooops - that's not what I meant! We all looked at each other...not knowing what to say next...and the conversation ended (with all of us wishing we could have said more).
When I returned upstairs - I was met with our intercom ringing (I didn't know we had one?!). The woman from downstairs was attempting to speak to me in Japanese...and I had no idea what she was saying. She kept apologizing - and I did too...so I said "I will be right there" in English about five times...and went downstairs. When I got there - she starting apologizing...again - and I did too...again! I managed to tell her that I was American, here for two years, and that I knew very little Japanese (but was learning). I'm sure she knew that from the "scary cherry blossom" comment. She told me her name and that she knew very little English...but said "we practice" and smiled. In that moment - both of us were completely out of our comfort zones - but were able to share the experience of wishing we could communicate more. And, I think it helped both of us to "break" that fear of talking - because we shared that moment together as people. Now when she is at the front desk - I will sometimes attempt to make a comment about the weather. It's a small step...but maybe with time it will lead to small talk (something I never expected to "want" to do so badly).
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| Crossing the Finish Line... |
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| The Circle... |
A few weekends ago, I participated in a relay race with twenty of Kaz's coworkers. None of whom I have ever met before, and most of whom he has just met. They knew he was a runner - and asked us to join. He came home the day before saying that the girls were excited and nervous to meet me - because they only spoke a little bit of English. I was feeling the exact same way...just about Japanese! When we arrived - everyone was in a circle stretching as a group (I am really beginning to experience the collective nature of Japanese culture). Then, without any warning - they all began to go around the circle and introduce themselves in Japanese. I began to panic...knowing that I would have to do the same thing. Talk about jumping in - talking to one person is hard - let alone twenty! As it was, I was the last one in the circle so I had about seven minutes to let my nerves take over. I said my name - and attempted to say "nice to meet you" - but choked a little on my words. I was completely embarrassed - but everyone smiled and clapped. As the day went on - I realized the power of cheering, clapping, and high-fives. Those actions - and brief conversations composed of me attempting some Japanese and them speaking some English (they all had WAY better English than they claimed to) - helped us to connect regardless of the barrier. They even let me run the last lap - so that I could be the one to cross the finish line (and they all ran the last few feet with me). Afterwards, we decided to join them for dinner (I had originally told Kaz I thought it might be too much) and again through a mixture of broken Japanese, broken English, and Kaz translating - I was able to connect with several new people. At the end of the day - I felt both exhausted (from running and focusing intently on language) and happy! Kaz even commented that he noted improvements in my understanding and attempts to communicate - something that I hadn't really noticed.
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| All of Us! |
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| Yaki-Niku - YUM! |
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| Making my necklace... |
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| Making my cup... |
I know my language journey will continue with each new word uttered and each new speaking situation I find myself in. So, I will sign off for today (with a million additional blog ideas swirling in my head)...and leave you all with a thought to ponder...what would the world be like if our similarities were noticed, celebrated, and appreciated even more? And if we took a little more time to connect beyond words.
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| Victorious! :) |
Sunny Moments: Learning the Japanese language...
Cloudy Moments: Learning the Japanese language...
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